Gimme Some Sugar, Ninja

After the Theise tasting a bunch of us went out to Terroir wine bar in the E. Vill. Pretty sweet joint. The list stands up to the name. Focusing on the wine and the earth they came from. Where vines dig deep to pull out whatever they can from their rocky, mineral ridden soils. Where hot days follow cool nights. Where fruit is picked when it tastes ripe, not when the refractometer says 28 brix. Where points don't matter. Where balance is key. Where the wines truly taste like the soils they came from and the varietal that they are, not the really expensive Oak that's been shoved down their throat.

We had a few beers and some eats (Victory Prima Pils and Paninis, yo). The list is extensive and had some lookers on it. Raph (Big Bird's big bro) is a Riesling whore and had expressed a bunch of times how he had never had an old Reisling. "Yo Raph, a 92 on the list for $60, wassup??" yep, a 92 Schmitt-Wagner Longuicher Maximiner Kabinett. I thought, "that oughtta be great." Schmitt- Wagner rocks the 100+ year old vines (pretty rare these days, you know diseases, Phylloxera and all that), its 17 years old, a great producer, what could be bad? I didnt know much about the vintage. Fine, it's freaking German Riesling and a Terry Theise Selection to boot. But i thought, "it is a Kabinett." I certainly am not Riesling guru or anything, but I know that to go the distance you need good residual sugar. I know that when i read Terry's catalogs a ton of the Kabinetts he tastes he says can age for a looong time. Odds were not against us on this one, so I order it. The bottle comes and I am expecting something with some darker color and oxidative characteristics. Not a chance, dude. This baby was fresh as a baby's bottom. Bright gold, almost white. Smelled of tart granny smith apples and citrus fruits. Not a petrol flavor to be found. "What the H.??!!", I thought. A 17 year old Reisling that smells like its no older than an 07? I felt bad. I wanted Raph to experience that old, unctuous, petrol, gasoline jammy jam that you get from the oldies. Not this time. The palate was tight as a nun's poonawatta, yo. High acids had taken control of this baby and the fruit had dissipated. it was sorta out of whack. I mean, it was good, but not what I was expecting. And for that reason it was disappointing. Plus, it needed food! and we were all out of it. Despite it's lack of secondary characterisitcs and it being a but too austere for my liking, it was GOOD wine. The Acid actually PRESERVED the wine.

Which brings me to my point: POUR SOME SUGAR ON THAT BITCH. Yes, Riesling NEEDS sugar. It just works. It's a grape that is naturally high in acid. It needs that jelly with that peanut butter. I'm not saying to put some lumps in after you pour a glass, as the winery should take care of this for you. I'm saying don't front like you hate sweet wines, because you don't. Do you hate cake? Do you hate ice cream? Do you hate a starburst? Do you hate a jolly Rancher? Do you like Coca-Cola? Im sure you answered yes to most, if not all of those. They are all sweet. So, its in liquid form. But once you get that beautiful tart acid matched up with the nice, fat, sweet fruit. You've got yourself a nice little drinky drink. Throw some slate rocks in there and your tongue is going to be coated with the coolest of sensations and flavors. Have you ever dumped a pack of pop rocks on your tongue? Have you ever dipped your finger in some fun dip? Yeah you have. This is what a German Riesling with a minerality that you could cut with your diamond saw, an acid that will make your moth water for more, the ripe fruits you could put in a welch's bottle and the perfect amount of residual sugar to bring it all together will do to you. Oh, and throw some alcohol in with that shizz and you're good to go.

So the Schmitt-Wagner would have been off the charts if it was a Spatlese or an Auslese I think. I'm sorry Raph, I'm working on getting something with some age on it so we can get that unctuous petrol thing that you've gotta try. Come wedding time I think the mission will be accomplished.

Bert